I’m really bothered by the news that a high school valedictorian from Oklahoma is being denied her diploma because she said the word “hell” in her valedictory speech. 

What on earth is up with that?? I studied in a very strict Catholic high school, so I feel your pain, my little co-victim of oppression.

Gah. The memories. So you give ‘em hell, Kaitlin Nootbar. Yeah, I said it. HELL! 

To be honest though I think I’m even more bothered that Kaitlin’s graduation speech was inspired by the Twilight Saga. Because given this disturbing intel, I’m now actually surprised the H-word was the strongest expletive uttered in that little grad shindig.

Twilight?? Really?? I’m a pretty imaginative writer, but even I’m stumped as to how to turn Bella and the boys’ emo-fest into an inspiring address.  

So I’m thinking Kaitlin’s best subject must have been Creative Writing. What do you think?

Well, WHATEVER. Just give the poor kid her diploma, PRAGUE HIGH SCHOOL. A diploma symbolizes a child’s achievements over years of education — don’t hold it for ransom over a half-second slip-up.

BAH! Bella Swan would so sic her supernatural pals on you if she found out about this.