So umm, I’m rather embarrassed to report that I’m still pretty fixated on those New Adult novels I was talking about the other day. They’re just so friggin’ addictive!
Anyway, it turns out that I’m not the only one. I think I have enough co-addicts to start a support group, and everyone in my NAA (New Adultaholics Anonymous) group suggested that I read Slammed by Colleen Hoover.
So I read it last night, and I have to say, it’s lovely. But I didn’t love it as much as I though I would. Part of the reason is that it made me cry and I don’t really like books or movies that make me sad. (Oh relax, there’s a happy ending, just sad parts, you should still read it even if you’re like me.)
But the MAIN reason was the poetry slams - which are a pretty big part of the book. If you don’t know what a poetry slam is, then welcome to the club, I didn’t either until last night. Basically it’s a competition where poets read or recite original work. (Thanks, Wikipedia)
And for some reason, I just found the whole concept of poetry slamming super duper AWKWARD. People who know me will find this really weird, because I actually used to be quite the poetess. But while I have no problem whatsoever WRITING poetry (or speaking in public, for that matter), for some reason reading poetry out loud just embarrasses me to death. Seriously.
I was once invited to be one of several women to record a spoken word album called Romancing Venus, and this was me the entire time.
I didn’t even have an audience, just a sound technician and Kooky, the poet whose work I was reciting, and I seriously just wanted to curl up into a fetal position in some corner somewhere and cry for my mama.
So yeah, that didn’t go very well. Good thing the poem was about some breakup or lost love or something because I sounded really lame and quivery, which I guess could pass off as lovelorn and wistful. But GAH! Nightmare. SO awkward.
Anyway I guess this explains why the whole poetry slam thing didn’t go over very well with me, but there is one part of the book that really made me glad I read it, and it’s the part where the heroine’s mom tells her to ask herself 3 questions before she commits. And the questions were so great, I thought I’d make another cheat sheet. Here it is.
3 Things to Ask Yourself Before You Commit
As Lake’s mom said in the book “If you can’t answer yes to these three questions, don’t even waste your time on a relationship.”
And I completely agree. You go, Lake’s Mom. *high five*
It’s something worth thinking about, whether you’re about to embark on a new relationship, or you’re already in one. So think, and ASK. This stuff matters.
Here’s hoping your answer to all 3 is a resounding YES. Happy Friday, folks!
For some bizarre reason, I’ve been devouring all these New Adult novels involving girls falling in love with rock stars. I’m really quite ashamed. Also, angsty. Because OMG the angst level in NA novels is just off the charts.
Anyway, don’t even ask me why I’m so fixated on the whole rock star romance thing right now, because I really have no good reason to give you. Well, except maybe that I think every woman is secretly a sucker for a talented musician. At the very least, for a few minutes while he’s performing on stage.
That’s why this doodle on svff.tumblr.com really cracked me up.
Hilarious. It’s relatable though, right? Because musicians are just… HAWT.
But oh wait, I almost forgot. I’m middle aged and married. Hehe. Oops. So let’s move on, shall we?
Anyway, I’ve only recently discovered that the New Adult fiction genre even existed, so I was a little surprised to discover that these were not in fact Adult-Adult novels. Because lemme tell ya, they’re pretty steamy. Like Adult movies steamy. Except with more plot. And angst.
This would be okay with me normally, except that the heroines are pretty young - usually college-age - so they kind of make me really glad I don’t have a daughter in college. Or a daughter in high school that reads this stuff and thinks that that’s how love and life and coming of age in college should be.
Now I think generalizations are the product of lazy minds, and I haven’t read enough NA books to make an intelligent judgment, so I won’t make any sweeping statements about NA fiction. Yet. Neither will I verbally bitchslap the angsty, indecisive college-age heroines I’ve been reading about, because frankly, we’re all pretty dumb and emotional at that age.
But I have to say there is one thing that really bugs me about the NA books that I have read so far (even the non-rock star-themed ones) —and it’s that the guy is always a major man-whore. (With bedroom hair and rock-hard abs, but that part I don’t mind so much.. er.. at all)
I mean, I get the appeal. (I was, after all, sucked into this stuff all weekend.) No one wants to read a romance about some average semi-flabby dude no one looks at, who’s majoring in Accounting or something. Because YAWN.
I’ll admit, bad boys are pretty irresistible. There’s a definite lure to the seemingly unattainable. Every girl wants to be “The One” to turn the resident man-ho hottie into a committed one-woman man, and kick all his attendant floozies to the curb. I get it.
But if you really think about it… YUCK. How icky is it to be with someone who’s been with everyone? And believe me, no matter how cool and civilized we may have become about these things, it’s always a little bit “Urgh. Gah. Don’t wanna think about it! Blarg!" when you interact with people whom you know have had intimate relations in the past with the person you love.
So just imagine being the girlfriend of someone like Kellan Kyle in S.C. Stephens’ Thoughtless series — who has slept with over 1000 girls?? WTH?? EW!! I have no idea why everyone on Goodreads is like “Kellan Kyle is the BEST BOYFRIEND EVERRR!” I mean okay fine, he’s a sweetie - and gorgeous as all get out - and but OMG! He’s a freaking menace! Public Enemy #1 of Peace of Mind, if you ask me.
So there’s that. But more disturbing, I think, is the way that the former man-hos suddenly do this major turnaround once they’re with “The One” —and all of a sudden they’re these choir boys who never even look at other women anymore, and can’t breathe or sleep at night when “The One” isn’t there.
Yeah, that doesn’t always happen, new adults.
When people fall in love and want their relationship to work out, they will make some changes to their lifestyle and behavior, true. But it’s terribly unwise to think they will change completely.
So when you enter a relationship, I don’t think it should be with the expectation of total transformation. You need to be able to accept that person as he is right now — and be okay with the assumption that he might not change at all. If you can, then good. Please proceed. If you can’t be with a person UNLESS he changes, you may want to rethink this whole relationship thing.
That’s what I think, anyway. What do YOU think? Agree or disagree? Let me know in the comments.
Cheers, people! Happy Holy Week!